So, How Have You Been?

It is a time for reflection and consideration of high and low points from the past year.  I'd have to reach back a couple of years to bring anybody up to speed on this blog.  All I can say is I spent a couple of years on Prozac.  In September I stopped taking it.  I realized that my life experiences had sort of flattened out.  I had lost the creative fire in my belly.  At 57 years old I decided it was time to get busy again.

So, following my doctor's advice I slowly weaned myself off of Prozac.  Yikes.  Double yikes.  I didn't realize there were actually withdrawal symptoms.  Any advice on the subject I would give is if you have a choice whether to start taking Prozac or not please seriously consider emotional healing via a therapist before you go the chemical route. 

Taking Prozac did help me deal with tremendous stress at work and allowed me to act in a professional manner but if I had it to do again?  I'd rip someone's head off first.  Nice talk from a supposedly spiritually conscious individual.  Anyway, I am working through the rough spots with my therapist. 

Want to hear a channeling funny?  One of the things I was working on was my temper.   At work I could go from 5 miles an hour to 150 miles an hour in the blink of an eye.  The result was I acted like a horse's patoot.  So, the goal was to deal with it. 

My therapist directed me to come up with a substitute of counting to 10; something I could memorize and say to myself when things got tough.  I considered all sorts of things and never really settled on anything.  Nothing anybody else wrote, however inspirational, suited me.  Nor did anything I could write.  Finally, I settled on saying a prayer from my childhood, a Hail Mary.  Even that wasn't good because I was seething while I was saying it and I just didn't feel right about it. 

So, there I was with nothing to fill in the space of 10 seconds that would help me throttle down.  Time passed and it finally all caught up with me when something or somebody pushed my button and I was poised to go off like a rocket.  In that millisecond one of the guides shouted out into the room, "Jesus Loves You".  It caught me by surprise and had the intended effect of hauling me back to earth pretty darn quick.  It was also interesting because the guides just don't do that with me.  Our "rules" are that no folk in spirit blurt anything out that I haven't approved.  But, they helped me that morning and for that I am grateful.

Now, being as how this is a space to help people to channel we can turn that story into a conversation about rules that you use when you are channeling.

The only rules you need follow are the ones you make up.  I give guidelines as far as things you can do to get you to the point where you are channeling, but it really boils down to what you feel comfortable with.

It's the same way you conduct your own life.  You've got rules that you follow.  When you are a kid you are following your parent's and teacher's rules.  When you grow up you are following society's rules and those that you have considered to be important to furthering your own way of life.

Same thing with channeling.  You are not a leaf to be blown about in a windstorm.  So, you make some rules, say of decorum.  Channeling out loud.  Well, I like to do that if nobody is around.  When you do it with others nearby sometimes they think you are talking to them.  Or, like what happened to me, they think there is somebody else in the room with you.  My own personal style is to have a sort of accent when Seth or other folk in spirit talk.  Sort of like Count Dracula from Transylvania.  I'll have to post a video so you can see what I'm talking about.  But, it was that one time that started my own personal "rule" of nobody in spirit talking through me unless I deem the coast clear. 

Have a Happy New Year and I hope to be here more often in the coming days.

Something That Moved Me

I just watched a moving video of the San Francisco Men's Gay Chorus on YouTube.  I realize it doesn't have anything to do with channeling, but it touched me and I wanted to share it with you.

 

Can I interest you in a game of cards?

People talk about spirituality a lot.  During the course of my life I’ve moved through what might seem to be steps or stages.  I think a sort of contemplation at times, or even a regular contemplation might be of benefit.

It was through a game of solitaire that my own thoughts veered off into the ether to come back to me as a sort of homely aha.

The game of solitaire I play is called, “Aces and Kings”.  You’ve got 2 decks.  On the left hand side you build upward from Aces to Kings.  On the right side you build down from Kings to Aces.  You’ve got a stack of overturned cards at the lower left that move face up into 4 empty spaces.  You can play these whenever you want.  You can turn over cards whenever you want until they are gone.  And, you can choose from a number of cards, two piles of them at the top of the screen.  The goal is to move all the cards into their proper piles.  This is a computer game, though I’m sure you could play it with regular cards.

In any case, I’ve been playing this game for a long time.  In fact I’ve played 5,145 games and won 100 of them.  I do lose a lot.

The feelings that emerge for me are varied and from the beginning I found some sort of strange satisfaction playing a game I mostly never won.  It’s not a difficult game to play but there seem to be ways that you can approach the game that will either determine how far into the game you can get before you can’t go anymore and it is those approaches that intrigued me.  It’s also the luck of the cards that is there too.

It’s like driving.  If something catches your eye at the side of the road you do need to be aware that the normal tendency is to drive towards it.

So, I took that “rule” and have applied it to the game.  I try to build up one side over the other.  The cards, by default, will build automatically on the left side, the side from Aces up to Kings, but you can if you want to make choices during the course of the game that will build up the other side first.  My own tendency is to build up the left side and get hung up with most of the right side not built up.

The first feeling I ever felt with this game was frustration at how many times I lost.  It was important to me to win the game.  The picky Virgo in me coupled with a wide streak of stubbornness from the Michael Teachings is what has probably driven my fascination with this game.

But, as time has gone on my feelings towards the game have moved slightly from a win/lose proposition to an enjoyment of each move during the course of each game.  The energy attached to winning and losing is easing and a noticing of what I am doing or how the cards are falling is an underlying attention.  It was when I thought you could live your life that way, with an enjoyment of the present that what is coming from the future whether good or bad is not as critical.

I thought of the shorter games, the ones I lose and the games that I can drag out towards a higher score like the lives people live.  Like not everybody wins big.  I asked myself what is winning big?  Winning big could be being a movie star, a person of importance in government, a rich person, someone who can stand out and be noticed above the shoulders of all the people in a crowd.  Face it, with all the people who live on our Earth exactly how many are going to stand out?  Not many.  What does that mean for the rest of us who live lives centered on home, on family, on friends, on work?  Does that mean those lives are any less important?  Of course not.

Okay, so then why was I so obsessed with winning?  The conscious decision made to not have winning be so important and the resultant emotions that accompany being a loser also not be so important was interesting.

So, how does this apply to spirituality?  I’m not sure other than you can think all of your life is you on your own road of self discovery and as you can ease into moments of contemplation you might be able to feel more at ease, more balanced and less self absorbed to reach out to other people. 

It’s really all mixed up.  I am really rambling with this but somehow it feels like I am kneading dough.  There is something of worth in these thoughts.  I am peering toward something I cannot see but that I think is important.  In the end my goals will likely change. 

Thinking about how you play a game, how you approach life, what you do when there are stresses that seem unrelenting, how health good and bad affects you and how sometimes  things sort of well up inside you and need the light of day to be.

It has been a long time since I have written in any of my blogs.  I appologize for the meandering.