What Do You Do When Spirit Stops Talking?

This is an email I got yesterday.

Hi. I’ve been speaking to my nana in the spirit world and lately I’ve been getting a feeling I should do a tarot card reading for myself. So I did. It wasn’t a good reading all. The bad cards came out, so the same night I asked my spirit guide to bring my nana through. She didn’t come which she always has done in the past.


Something felt really wrong that she didn’t answer me and a few days later she still won’t come through. I’m just wondering why they don’t come through. I also feel as though they are trying to prepare me for something distressing to happen. Is that why she won’t speak to me at the moment?

Hello,

You are worrying too much. That’s all. When you make contact with Spirit in the way that you have been accustomed to this is not the way it will always be. You will, as a sensitive, evolve and develop. Not to worry about it.

So, what is going on with you? Did you realize that you are the one who determines what spirit is going to sound like? We did an experiment once with 4 people I was coaching on learning to channel. The game was going to be that we would listen to one guide. The same guide. And, that guide would channel about what was going on in our future. We were all set to get really good information. What came through was surprising and not what we expected to hear.

Bear in mind that I live near San Francisco. We get a lot of earthquakes and everybody has been warned for years that the BIG one is coming.

So, one person channeled that we should all get out of Dodge and move as quickly as possible. We should move to Colorado because that was going to be the new west coast in the United States when the present western part of the country was going to sink and drop off the map.

Another person channeled that if our higher self determined that our life lesson was going to be that we needed to be involved in a big earthquake, then that was where we were going to be. Why there? Who knows? Maybe we are supposed to help people.

Two very different channelings, yet from the same guide and through two different people speaking on the same subject.

That was when I realized that it is the person who determines what kind of channeling comes through; whether it is going to be scary or not.

Okay, so what do you do if you feel you don’t have any control over the channeling coming out of your mouth?

You have lots of control. It’s all about choices. For one thing with alarming or distressing messages coming through you can take a step back from it and know the channeling you are doing is based in fearfulness.

How to get over fear? Grow yourself. A kid is afraid of nothing. They learn fear as they grow. Unlearn it. Are you afraid of the first raindrop? Run for shelter so you don’t get wet and melt? Try this. Next time it rains go outside without a coat and without an umbrella and get wet. I know that is simple, but for me, when I did it, it was a revelation and it was one of the first steps I took outside of my comfort zone.

Allow the fearlessness to come gradually to you. Journal. Pour out your thoughts on paper. The very act of expressing yourself on paper is therapeutic.

Begin to gradually change your world views. Are you as well balanced mentally as you can be? If you move on the assumption that everybody, the world over, has some sort of neurosis going on, figure that you must have one too. You always figured that you were perfectly okay. Figure now that you are not. Number one rule is that channeling is distorted by how well balanced you are mentally, or at least that you are making the attempt to be well balanced. So, the important point here is that you make a promise to yourself that you will make the attempt to investigate some aspect of yourself that might need a little healing. I don’t know what it is. You have to discover that one on your own. Remember, that your world view, your take on reality needs to shift a little bit in order for you to spot something in your makeup that could use some work. It is a process of being more sensitive to what your needs are.

The thing with healing emotionally and figuring out what is going on with you is to assume first of all that you are not a victim. If you go around saying, “If this had not happened then everything would be different for me.” Or “If they hadn’t done this I would not now be doing this.” This is the blame game and if you blame others for your problems then this is something you can look at. Here’s a hint. Do you ever get really angry about things? Focus in on those times and see if you can’t figure something out about yourself.

My signal that I need to get quiet and do some inner work is when suddenly, out of nowhere, I am surrounded by drivers who can’t drive worth a poop. In front of me, behind me, coming at me from the side; the worst drivers you can imagine and I am attracting them like flies. Ahem. My own personal signal that there is something in my world that isn’t quite right. If I choose to ignore this it only gets worse.

This doesn’t mean that you are defective. It means that you, just like everybody else, has something to work on. That’s our opportunity here on Earth. Learn all you can.

One of the best things I ever did to help me shift my reality just that little bit that would allow me to channel was to read, “The Course in Miracles”. There is a section in it that has 365 lessons; one for each day of the year. Start on the first lesson and begin reading. These are short. They never go much more than one page.

Now, the cards. First time I ever read the Tarot for myself I got the 3 “bad” cards; the hanged man, the tower and the devil. The hair stood up on the back of my neck. I shuffled the deck and drew again. Same three cards. Yikes. I shuffled and drew again. Same again. The odds of that happening were incredible. So, since I didn’t know much more about those cards than they were “bad” I figured I would read the meanings. Your world turns upside down, things are going to change, you have the opportunity for great changes in your life.

I finally realized that Spirit was coming through the cards and since I already held a bunch of “beliefs” about ESP and psychic things I was frightened. It took years for me to unlearn my fears, to realize that Spirit had just stepped in to communicate with me via the cards and that was one of the first steps I was taking to learn how to channel.

Your sensitivity to the other side is changing. Take a hint and study more. There isn’t one perfect and right way to lean as far as disciplines go. Lean the way you are drawn. You’re going to learn something from all of your teachers. There is a saying, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” So, don’t fret. You’re doing fine.

There is nothing to fear and your Nana and your guide are not preparing you for something bad to happen. When it all settles down again you’ll be able to talk to Folk in Spirit again and I’ll bet you will be a much happier person. It’s all about growing.

Best of luck to you and thank you for writing.

Pauline

What About My Wife?

Here's an email I got today:

I've enjoyed reading your sites. But I am curious if your husband supports your efforts of channeling? I am interested in doing the same, but I think my wife would think I'm nuts or something. I've been reading and reading about the subject but have not really shared my interest with my wife. She is more religious than I am and I'm afraid that I would offend her all the while feeling like she would think I'm nuts or something. Just curious of your view point?

Here's my answer: By all means tell your wife what you want to do and why. Try to include her in what you are doing. And, you do want her support.

The road to channeling of reading and meditation and thoughtful introspective thinking can help everyone whether they actually channel or not. It's the idea of getting more in tune with your inner self, having more confidence in what you do and in what you think that are the benefits that come from the path to channeling. Also, there is the desire to be more on your own path of spiritual development.

And, then there are the nuts.

What also happens is that people have expectations of what channeling is and that's where the nutty ideas come in. I can certainly see how a spouse, especially one who is religious would be alarmed at what her husband was doing.

If you think that the channeling will not take away from anybody's, yours or your spouse's faith and can convince her of it too then I would think things would be okay.

It's in the early days of channeling where the odd things happen. That's when I advise people to sort of keep their mouths shut and try real hard to keep one foot on the curb of rational thought. That's when God comes to you to say there is a fantastic sale down at the local hardware store and if you jump in the car RIGHT THEN you will be able to have the buy of the century. Those are just the early warped days of channeling. It's not true. It is your guide speaking to you, but it is also you with a whole boat load of preconceived expectations and ideas of what the channeling process SHOULD be. It's once you get accustomed to the new energies, to the new talking, address your own psychological growth issues (and everybody, absolutely everybody has them) then, things begin to settle down.

But, it's not just a simple thing of, "This week I'm going to learn how to channel". It's a life changing experience. And, you could alienate your wife in the process. You do not want that to happen. Once you make contact with Spirit there is no going back and unmaking contact with your guide.

There's also a stage (and I went through this too) of where you get all sorts of helpful advice from the guides for everybody and you feel you must share. Folks tend to not like that. You'll learn caution and when to keep your mouth shut. This cautionary note would hold for anybody whether they are married or not. Can you imagine going to your boss to say, "You know, my guides said if you were to stop dragging your dog around the lake with you every time you go out to jog the dog would be a lot happier." Right. See what I mean?

I wouldn't say the various religions are so keen on having parishioners going about channeling. That's what the priests, ministers and rabbis are there for: to interpret God's laws. Not you. They just don't seem to like it. There is a place for it, but I haven't tried real hard to find it. (One of the guides just said that's when you go make your own church.) I did know a priest once who I told about my channeling experience. As he and I talked over time I remember once he said to me that I sounded like his spiritual advisor. That's as close as I've come to any sort of acceptance by a member of the clergy. It was brief and now I've lost touch with that priest. I've never sought out another one. But, that brief interchange did much to give my confidence a boost.

My husband is supportive of my efforts now. He was a little anxious in the beginning. There was a real tense moment once early on when he said I had to chose between him or my guide. I stood my ground and said I was going to have them both. Even then I realized that there was no way I could unmake the connection to Spirit and there was no way I could live the rest of my married life under a cover of silence from Spirit.

So, I learned a little discretionary caution. Everybody is going to have a different experience. It's been 15 years that I've been channeling. Even though it was strange trying to find a place for the new me in my married life I did. And, I'm glad for it. I'm more outgoing now. I'm a little bolder. I've had to do my own psychological work, which, by the way does not stop. You work on it a little...a year or so goes by and then you work on it some more. This is an absolute must for anybody doing channeling. You don't want to end up like some nut mowing down innocent civilians in a misguided effort to save the world. So, your own psychological health is an area of constant observation. My relationship with my husband is solid. It weathered my journey into channeling. It wasn't always easy, but we came out the other end of it even happier together, more accepting of each other than before.

What you could do, if after all that I've told you if you decide the upheaval in your marriage isn't worth the trouble of learning how to channel move into the introspective writing mode where you begin to meditate a bit, where you pray, where you balance your life with useful and healthy activities (jogging, gardening, exercise, yoga maybe, stuff like that), where you begin keeping a journal for writing whatever you want to write about and where you do a self evaluation to see if there is anything along the lines of psychological healthy making things you can do to help yourself, including your wife in these activities too. Check out Byron Katie. Google her and you will see her website and books, "Loving What Is". Terrific book. Absolutely terrific. It's not channeling. It's supporting spiritual and healthy life for yourself and your wife. I hope this helps.